I've not been looking forward to tonight - to be honest I've been scared. It's not like me...the one thing I wasn't in life was scared. Not of bullies, not of giant corporations or even States. I took them all on.
I am a bit scared tonight when I go to bed. We had another delivery, courtesy of the physiotherapist who is busy spending money to try and keep me out of hospital.
We got a grab rail which will stop me from falling out of bed. And, yes, that has become a problem. Also, I'll be able to grab onto it (I hope) and use it to move myself about on the bed, which is something I've been finding harder and harder.
We also got a mattress topper - a two inch thick thing for me to lie on, which will make things more comfortable. That's what's frightening me. It lifts the bed up two more inches which means I've got to get my dead old legs two inches higher and that's going to be really hard and it's going to hurt. I'm also not sure whether I can get out of bed in the morning, safely and that's even more worrying.
Once I dreamed of climbing great mountains in spite of being scared of heights. Now I have much smaller ambitions but they are no less challenging.
Wish me luck.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home; helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
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