Fighting on.

That was a tough and ultimately emotional day.

We went back to Charing Cross Hospital and I drove. The timing was difficult and as there wasn't really any way I could jiggle my painkillers I ended up taking less of them but more often in the morning. There was no real logic to it and it's fair to say it didn't really work out too well.

I had a busy morning before we left - I was supposed to ring a nurse at the Hospice on Friday, to keep her up to date with how I was doing. I didn't ring her - now she rang us and is coming round tomorrow morning!

.....to get to know me.

Oh dear!

Then I rang the man who fixes our derelict boiler which isn't just not working but making some really unpleasant and dangerous noises. I've kept missing him because I've had so many doctor's appointments in the last week.

I'm getting frazzled, I've been out four times in the last six days. I'm exhausted.

We set off - the traffic is light but my back and legs hurt every time I change gear. I was fine until I got to the Hammersmith roundabout where I got bullied by the other drivers because I was slow - I got barged out of the way and cut up as I struggled round. I got there in the end but by the time I'd parked up a long way from the hospital, any good from the painkillers had left me. We were early, which was just as well. It took me ages to get to the clinic in slow motion.

I did my bloods and waited. I slept but didn't recover.

I started these meds 9 weeks ago, we do the blood tests a month behind. So, I was due to get a result from a month ago, after I'd got through a really bad four weeks to get there. Unfortunately, the lab hadn't done the right tests. So we had no idea what was going on.

My pains were worse but my appetite was back - so on balance Dr Feelgood and me decided we'd just carry on regardless. There aren't so many alternatives left for me anyway.

I ordered my meds and we sat down to wait but the chairs were really uncomfortable and I started to lose it big time.

Robyn got me the meds and I took my painkillers and struggled out of my chair. I was in agony as I made it back to the car.

We drove back along the motorway, with me groaning along the way.

I collapsed into my chair and slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Then it got better; first Robyn got a message from Dr Feelgood - she'd got a specially quick blood test and things have improved. No need to get carried away but it's good news and we did  make the right decision in carrying on with the treatment.

Then, late in the evening the gas boiler man turned up and after a lot of banging and fixing, he got the boiler started and heat flowed through the cold house again.

I must have looked pretty ill (I felt pretty ill) because he didn't charge me anything. I got very upset. I can cope with people being nasty, like on the Hammersmith Roundabout but I just can't deal with people being kind any more.

And so I fight on.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com