Saturday 30 September 2017

April, Come she will.


April, come she will
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain
May, she will stay
Resting in my arms again

June, she’ll change her tune
In restless walks, she’ll prowl the night
July, she will fly
And give no warning to her flight

August, die she must
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold
September, I’ll remember
A love once new has now grown old


Paul Simon

I've always loved this Simon and Garfunkel song, loosely based on an old English poem.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Friday 29 September 2017

Spasm.

I had built up my hopes too much - new painkiller and a huge boost to my meds. All of which I hoped would bring down my pain and give me a nights sleep.

Didn't quite work out that way. As they had warned me, my poor old rib hurt a lot worse after the radiotherapy than it did before - that will get better.

Unfortunately, at those times when my ribs got a bit better I realised that I have a problem with another rib, that pain just got hidden by the bigger one.

The new painkiller didn't really sort out my problems and on top of that I stopped using the old one. So.......I was irritable and withdrawing after using it for about 6 months.

I got about an hours sleep all night.

So it shouldn't be a surprise that I got into a real mess with FaceBook. For some unknown reason I was reading a post about Hugh Hefner someone I knew had liked. I have no idea why but I accidentally clicked on 'like' when I didn't agree with it and even worse I also clicked on the new 'love' symbol.

It was some kind of involuntary spasm.

I then forgot how to undo that. At which point the whole FaceBook seemed to go mad and loads more posts came up so that I couldn't get back to the Hefner one.

I spent about 25 minutes tracking it down and working out how to erase my 'Love' symbol from it.

I was very frustrated; a worthless man whose worthless life was spent exploiting women and cheapening all our lives in the process.

FaceBook......Pah!

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production) 
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Thursday 28 September 2017

Hospital day.

I should have guessed from the amount of pain I was in that my trip to hospital wasn't going to go well.

I got the result of my blood test from a month ago and things have got dramatically worse - so a big boost to the strength of my meds and a review next time around. That's not going to be fun.

I had an agonising drive into town and was late because it took me so long to walk in to the ward. I got my infusion and was then sent over to the radiotherapy department for a spot of urgent zapping of my poor rib, which is really painful these days.

Radiotherapy is on the opposite side of the hospital, a long walk on two sticks. It wasn't helped when I chose the wrong corridor and everyone we asked told us we would have to go all the way back and start again.

No way!

We ended up in A and E to find all the exits locked and had to get a nurse to take pity on me and let us out.

At Radiotherapy we had a long wait, which was fine for me although it drove Robyn crazy. I was completely shattered and just slept.

Then I had problems - I can't lie down on my front because of my spine and I haven't laid on my side for nearly two years. I ended up propped up with foam blogs and lying on a trolley. I was in agony and in the end they agreed that as long as I didn't move, I could sit on the trolley and we did it that way without problems.

I've also got a script for some morphine patches which may mean I will still be able to function as the dose is direct and lower.

Eventually, after a really long and exhausting day we made it home.

Cancer sucks, let me tell you.

But I drove both ways and walked a long way, hung around an waited and got treated.

Quite an achievement.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Wednesday 27 September 2017

Groaning Tortoise.

It was a struggle but I did make it to Tesco's today. It didn't go particularly well - we normally go in the morning, today I only managed to get out of the house after lunch. But we did it.

Obviously we needed the shopping but more importantly, I have to get up to London tomorrow to the Hospital and that's going to be an even bigger effort.

When we got home, I was, of course, completely out of it for the rest of the day. But I remember some years ago, getting back to Tesco's after I first broke vertebrae in my back and thinking how later I would be looking back to then with some nostalgia.

I was right, I do.

I remember every time I went there and rushed round on my own. I don't do that any more but I'm still there even if I'm like a groaning tortoise.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Tuesday 26 September 2017

This is just to say.

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox


and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
 
William Carlos Williams


Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home:helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Monday 25 September 2017

Toasty nights!

We've been given a blanket!

Our neighbour took pity on Robyn and gave her a blanket she didn't want - and it's fair to say that I've been freezing cold all summer. Over the last couple of weeks Robyn's been getting cold too.

We have a silly duvet but it's not the same as an old fashioned woollen blanket as well. We had our own blankets but they were all old and thin and, like me, a bit tired and past it.

Now we're toasty - maybe a bit too toasty.

But Winter is coming......

Now we need to work out what we can do for our kind neighbour, given that I'm not really up to doing anything much for anybody.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Sunday 24 September 2017

Desert of pain.

It's been a strange week - quite painful and tough although I did get some things done.

I'm stuck getting two lots of an hour and a half's sleep a night which is tough. Unfortunately the couple of hours in between seems to last forever - a desert of pain.

On the other hand it doesn't seem to have got very much worse, which at this stage is a surprise.

And I haven't yet had to increase the level of painkillers I'm taking although that won't be long, I think.

I'm back up at hospital on Thursday which will be a tough old day. I'm hoping to avoid some of the 'difficult' decisions that will be coming up soon, at least for another month.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Saturday 23 September 2017

Spooking Sydney.

I'm not feeling particularly proud of myself today - last night I was a little unfair to Sydney the Grumpy Cat.

I should explain that Sydney doesn't like me and, unless Robyn is with me, she doesn't tolerate me much at all.

Last night just before I went to bed, Sydney was being particularly naughty; scratching furniture, pulling at the carpet and running around the house squarking.

In the end she gave me a very peculiar look indeed - a long and slightly frightening stare accompanied by some very loud screetching. Then she tried to stare me out again.

In the end I started staring her back and mimicking her screeches.

I'm afraid to say that in the end I spooked her and she ran off to one of the Sydney nests that fill the house.

Sydney has a new cardboard box with a roof and a number of custom entrances cut in the sides. Instead she ran into an old box with no roof and hid in it only to peak out of the top at me to see if I'd gone.

She didn't come out until I went to bed.

Gulp!

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Friday 22 September 2017

Autumn.

Today was the Autumn Equinox and a nice day too - it was crying out for us to do something.

Unfortunately, I had an appointment with the practice nurse at my doctors, for a rather painful injection which I have to have every three months.

It meant getting up early on a day when I had a really bad night, getting ready and driving about 15 miles each way.

When we got there, there was a long delay and in the end I got about an hour's sleep before the appointment which I was quite grateful for.

hen I got out I was exhausted, much worse than three months ago, although Robyn helpfully pointed out that three months ago when I did anything it would take me days to recover.

Who knows?

We got home and I just slept it off.

It's now officially Autumn and it feels like it.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
 

Thursday 21 September 2017

Getting upset.

I got very upset this morning, on the way to Tesco's.

Silly old man.

I saw a company van with "ThyssenKrupp" on it's side.

I upset myself for two reasons.

First of all, Baron Thyssen ran a massive Iron and Steel Cartel which operated in Germany from the 19th century to the present day. Thyssen himself was an early and major financial backer of Hitler and the Nazis. He was also active in mobilising business people like himself behind the Nazi movement.

The Krupp family were even more powerful combining Iron and Steel businesses with interests in Coal mines. Indeed, as head of the Ruhr Coal Combine, Krupp was an enthusiastic fundraiser and supporter of Hitler and the Nazi's, uniting the mine owners against the Trades Unions on the Nazi's behalf.

By the end of the 1930's Thyssen had fallen out with Hitler and fled to France where he wrote a confessional book setting out how he had helped put Hitler into power.

However, Krupp went from strength to strength - as well as arming the German Army and profiting from the war, Krupp industries was intimately involved in the camps and a very enthusiastic consumer of labour forced to work in his mines and factories, kidnapped from across occupied Europe.

At the end of the war both the Thyssen and Krupp families were under pressure and in great fear of losing their investments. The Soviet Union wanted Germany reduced to an agricultural nation.

However, the Cold War meant that the families were saved, their investments protected in giant trusts and the two cartels joined together.

Indeed, the beginning of the European Union was an Iron, Coal and Steel agreement between the industries of France and Germany.

All attempts to break up the trusts and disperse their assets failed and with the help of American Marshall Aid, the combines were able to reinvest in modern machinery.

The second reason I upset myself is that this week Tata Steel and ThyssenKrupp started negotiations towards a merger. Tata Steel is the current owner of what is left of British Steel. It wasn't long ago that the members of the British Steel pension fund were foolish enough to vote to reduce the pension benefits they will receive, in return for Tata promising to safeguard British jobs.

Of course, as a new entity a merged Tata/ThyssenKrupp combine would be starting off as a new enterprise and will probably make the job cuts that Tata had been planning to make in the first place.

The B*stards always win out in the end, if we let them.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Wednesday 20 September 2017

Sorry Sydney.

I must admit I owe Sydney the Grumpy Cat an apology; the other night she slept on our bed for a couple of hours but made so much noise that all I got was 35 minutes sleep even though I was on my painkillers.

Last night there was no Sydney. I got 45 minutes sleep.

That's an extra ten minutes.

So I think it's not really down to poor old Syd. That being said, we did go out in the afternoon and I managed to get a couple of things done in the next town, which was good.

It hurt quite a lot and when I got home after about an hour, I was out like a light. I was shattered. But I was still functioning.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Tuesday 19 September 2017

Sydney stole my drug time!

Sydney the grumpy cat spent a couple of hours sleeping on our bed last night - which is a good thing.

Except that she didn't do a lot of sleeping. There was plenty of grooming, some walking about, a bit of preening and a fair bit of staring.

I wouldn't mind except that by the time I get to bed I'm in a lot of pain and I've honed my painkillers to work their best for me. I take the pills as I start the long walk to the bedroom, and it's pretty painful I can tell you. By the time I've got my pillows sorted out and dragged my poor legs onto the bed, the painkiller has just started to kick in. I usually fall straight asleep but, unfortunately, it doesn't last for long; say an hour and a half to a couple of hours. Then I wake up in a lot of pain and writhe about until 0400 when I take a different tablet and get some more sleep, if I'm lucky.

Last night, with Sydney's night time antics, when I woke up and checked the clock I found to my horror that I'd been asleep for just 30 minutes, with a long painful night ahead of me.

Sydney got fed up with us at 0200am and asked to be let out.

I had a long, long night staring me in the face. Lot's of pain.

Thanks Sydney.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Monday 18 September 2017

If only.

"The winter is forbidden till December And exits March the Second, on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September,
In Camelot.
Camelot, Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot,
That's how conditions are."


- Camelot
, Lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner  


Actually it's freezing cold, everything hurts and, after a summer of feeling cold the whole time I'm looking at a freezing cold winter.

It's a little bit unfair.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Sunday 17 September 2017

Fledging.

Another big day today - Robyn went out and I didn't need to drive her. I must admit I'd have had a problem doing it - I'd have been sat for an hour and a half in a car park waiting for her and I just can't do it these days.

So it's just as well she passed her driving test this week!

She took the car while I had a long drowse by the TV.

She also did some chores which I couldn't have coped with and then came back safe and sound. I feel like a bird watching chick fledge from the nest, although to be fair, I didn't have much to do with her learning how to drive.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Saturday 16 September 2017

Moonlight Memories.

I have a rule not to recycle stuff that's already been on the Blog - of course I'm going to break it today.

A year ago I was due to go back to hospital and knew my chemotherapy was failing. I was ill and it was quite a sad time.

The day before, Robyn and me went out for the afternoon, which ended up extending itself into a wonderful, moonlit September night.

Unforgettable.

Have a look for yourself;

http://helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/a-glorious-moonlight.html

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Friday 15 September 2017

Heatherwood and Wexham Park Hospitals Parking Charges.

Another depressing day.

This last spring, I was involved in a campaign which tried to stop Ashford and St. Peter's hospitals charging holders of disabled drivers badges for the use of their car parks.

This Trust raises one of the largest amounts of money in the country from charging patients, visitors and staff for using the car parks. It's not something that people have much choice about - it's a tax on ill health and it's not what the NHS is about.

They tried the same thing in 2014 and we successfully stopped them. This time they didn't care about the bad publicity or the disapproval of local councils.

It is, after all, quite an unpopular Trust.

Sadly, we lost and the charges went on.

Today Frimley Park NHS Trust which is now administering Heatherwood and Wexham Park hospitals will be bringing in charges for disabled users. I have now doubt that Ashford and St. Peter's actions have emboldened them and it just shows how important it is to realise that the whole NHS is connected.

A defeat in one area means a defeat for all.

Although I'm now too ill to do a lot myself, I hope local users will oppose this move in Slough and force a rethink. Disabled drivers are some of the most active users of the NHS and often least able to pay.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Thursday 14 September 2017

Neil the Grumpy Cat.

I've had a long series of days when I haven't been able to do anything. Today I got my act together, or I tried to. I got washed and drove to Tesco's to do the shopping.

Actually, Robyn did the shopping while I sat on a disabled buggy, driving around. And, despite the painkillers I took I was in a whole lot of pain. And we were about three hours later than normal because it took me so long to get ready.

Back at home I was shattered and slept for the rest of the afternoon, as did Sydney the Grumpy cat, although as far as I can see she didn't actually do anything at all.

Have I turned into a grumpy cat?
 
Apart from the pain I'm really feeling the cold of an early autumn.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Wednesday 13 September 2017

Official; Robyn is a smarty pants.

Robyn took her driving test today!


And as you can see - she passed first time with flying colours.

It's been a fraught summer. I've been in a lot of pain and we haven't done anything. Robyn was taking lessons and occasionally driving with me, which hurt a lot.

I knew she could pass but I was really worried that she wouldn't make it. She's never driven a manual gearbox before and British roads are small and congested in comparison with American roads. They don't have roundabouts and our test is much harder than theirs is.

But the real problem was that while her instructor has a brand new car you hardly need to drive, my poor old car is old and crotchety. Just like me. The gear box is crunchy and eccentric, the gear ratios are different and the engine is about half as powerful.

Added to that the signal stalk is on the opposite side of the steering wheel, so often we'd be turning and suddenly the windshield wipers would come on and Robyn would be swearing again. Her instructor banned her from driving my car for a week before the test.

We'd go out, Robyn would be driving fine and then she'd get frustrated with my car and start getting angry with me because of it. I had a vision of her losing her temper with the examiner.

But everything went really well - Robyn was a Kool Kat.

She resisted the temptation to slam her foot down on the accelerator and just walked through the test.

I'm very proud of her - it's been a tough year and she needs to take over the driving as my mobility fails.

So then I rang the insurance company to tell them the good news and, of course, they increased the premium and charged me £25 administration charge on top of that.

Grrrrrrh!

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com














Tuesday 12 September 2017

Bell Pottinger.

As they say, 'What goes round comes around'.

Bell Pottinger, one of the more notorious public relations firms has had to call in the administrators, who will probably wind up the company as it is unlikely that anyone would want to buy this tarnished company now.

This month, the PR world's professional body expelled Bell Pottinger for five years for unethical behaviour in South Africa, where it waged a campaign on behalf of a very wealthy business family, using racism as a tool.

I can't add much to that as I am very conscious of the scope of the libel laws in this country. My beef with the firm is this - Tim Bell started his working life with the advertising company Saatchi and Saatchi. Through them he ended up working on Margaret Thatcher's advertising campaigns in the 1980's, and can take a considerable amount of credit for her success during this period.

During the 1984 Miner's Strike, Bell was seconded to The National Coal Board and co-ordinated the campaign to beat the Miners, using huge amounts of taxpayers money as well as the full force of the State.

Bell acted as the link man and often as the bagman, connecting the worlds of Security, The State, The media, Business and the scab miners who went back to work in dubious circumstances.

All these years later, many of the 'independent miner's unions that were formed as a result of breaking the strike have served time in prison for fraud. leading South Yorkshire police officers who mishandled and then covered up The Hillsborough Disaster are facing trial for manslaughter.

These days, Bell is a shadow of his former self. His past has come back to haunt him and it is fitting that the firm he founded has now closed in disgraceful circumstances.

It's something that should have happened thirty years ago.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Monday 11 September 2017

My Life Has Been the Poem


My life has been the poem I would have writ
But I could not both live and utter it.
 
Henry David Thoreau

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Sunday 10 September 2017

Fighting to sleep.


I never thought I'd be fighting for sleep - it always seemed so easy. I just used to collapse on a bed and woke up in the morning.

These days it's an unbelievable battle against pain, boredom and frustration.

Lying down really hurts.

I have a routine and a war plan. I get ready so that I take my painkillers at midnight, which means I'm usually in bed by about 1230, even if it is a struggle.

I drop straight off and keep my fingers crossed that I get some decent sleep out of it. If I'm lucky I get a couple of hours, last night it was only 50 minutes; I woke up at 0120.

What is the point of that?

I then spend the next couple of hours in bored agony, shifting and shuffling and trying not to wake up Robyn. The minutes hang in the air like icicles.

They hurt too.

At four I take paracetamol and (it's bizarre) I usually get a definite hour and a half's sleep out of that.

Then it's a struggle to stay in bed as long as possible - to reduce the swelling in my legs and feet. The alternative is getting up and shuffling off to the front room to my armchair where I usually get a bit more sleep.

I can tell you, by the time morning comes, I'm exhausted.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Saturday 9 September 2017

Red Room.

Art is the weirdest thing, it gets you when you least expect it.


Years ago I went to the Tate Modern gallery up in London about ten years ago and was wondering around, checking out the paintings, the sculptures.

There was a small room, not much bigger than a cupboard, with an open door so that you could look in.

Inside was a miniature kitchen, filled with a huge collection of American kitchen utensils, ornaments, bits and pieces. What they all had in common was that they were from America, they dated from the 1960's and they were made of red plastic.

To this day, I have no idea what Robert Therrien's 'Red Room' is about, what it's supposed to mean.

But it meant a lot to me, the moment I saw it. I should explain that my Granny lived in America and she would send presents. Sometimes she'd visit and would bring things. A surprising number of them were made of red plastic.

When I looked into the 'Red Room', I immediately recognised a whole number of things that I'd grown up with in our house in the 1960's, presents from my Granny in the U.S.

I saw a red purse she'd given me. There was a red colander my Mum had in the kitchen as well as six or seven other things.

I don't know what the 'Red Room' could possibly have meant to all the people who saw it at Tate Modern, but to me it was an amazing trip back into my past.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Friday 8 September 2017

Fire and Ice.



Some say the world will end in fire,Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.



Robert Frost.


Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Thursday 7 September 2017

The museum of nothing in particular, part 9.

I bought something beautiful!

I should say I stopped buying things a long time ago - clothes, shoes, what on earth was the point?

But on Saturday I bought a piece of art - why not?




Every so often I buy African carved heads in charity shops.

This one cost me £1-50p - big money.

Wood carving is a big cultural activity in Africa - especially in a belt that runs from South West Africa through Tanzania and Kenya.

These heads are cut into a rock hard brown wood, very similar to mahogany. Many of them are very formal and follow quite rigid patterns.

I couldn't resist this one for two reasons;

First, the carver left the rough branch uncarved at the top and the bottom to re[present hair and, I suppose, the origin of the wood spirit.

Secondly, and this is what sold it to me, is the sheer tactile beauty of it. Pick it up and feel the silky smooth carved surface, moulding itself into your fingers.

It just felt right.

And it's beautiful.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till  you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Wednesday 6 September 2017

Superman? No, not really.

A bit of excitement today - my aircushion arrived!

I bought (actually Robyn bought it for me) an aircushion on e-bay and it came today. I need a cushion for my back in bed because pillows are too hard for it. I have osteo-porosis as a result of the drugs I'm on and my vertebrae have collapsed and stick out. Where they touch things it hurts after a while - a physical pain as opposed to the pain of cancer.

I spent £5-99p on the cushion and, as Robyn keeps pointing out to me, you get what you pay for. I still have hopes it will work out because at the very least it will mean I don't have to do my superman impersonations any more.

Life is now such a struggle, when I go to bed, I have to carry with me a whole load of stuff to get through the night. As I use two walking sticks and, because of the pain, I only move in slow-motion, it's quite an ordeal.

I have a very old aircushion that's about 30 years old and very heavy. I use it on my chair and until tonight I have to hold it in one hand while I also use a walking stick with the same hand.

One alternative was to put the cushion inside my dressing gown, close it up and tie up the cord, so that it covered my chest.

It looked like I had suddenly acquired an extraordinary six-pack, rather like superman's and completely undeserved.

It was also quite uncomfortable and there was always a risk it would fall out and I'd have a fall.

So now I have a second cushion I can just leave it in the bedroom.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Tuesday 5 September 2017

Bad couple of days.

I've had an0ther grindingly painful day. Yesterday we went out and  I was able to pick up the prescription that the Doc forgot to put on the list, then went to Tesco's picked up the pills on the original prescription and left the new one to be processed. Basically, I managed to get the important pills with a couple of days to spare.

It was very tough, by the time I got home I was wasted - unable to do anything for the rest of the day and by the evening it wasn't getting any better.

Had a lousy night and a painful day. I don't actually think it was because I did too much, that was just a coincidence. It just seems to be getting worse.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Monday 4 September 2017

One year with Sydney.

I must admit my relationship with Sydney the Cat continues to get worse. It's a year since she arrived and we picked her up from the airport.

At first she was quite friendly but as I got more ill and she felt more secure, she got less and less friendly.

Last night she came into the front room after Robyn went to bed and got up on the settee next to my chair. She deliberately sat down at the very far end, furthest away from me, where there was lots of painful stuff that she had to sit down on. At my end there was a comfee cushion and lots of empty space....perfect for a Sydney nest.

When I went to bed she very deliberately got up and moved over to my end of the settee to make herself comfortable. I stroked her head and she hissed at me.

I retreated fairly quickly!`

Tonight she didn't come in to see me at all.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Sunday 3 September 2017

Walter Becker 1950 - 2017

Walter Becker is dead, who with Donald Fagen, made up 'Steely Dan' and wrote some of the best songs ever written.



Here's Donald Fagen's statement;

"Walter Becker was my friend, my writing partner and my bandmate since we met as students at Bard College in 1967. We started writing nutty little tunes on an upright piano in a small sitting room in the lobby of Ward Manor, a mouldering old mansion on the Hudson River that the college used as a dorm.

"We liked a lot of the same things: jazz (from the twenties through the mid-sixties), W.C. Fields, the Marx Brothers, science fiction, Nabokov, Kurt Vonnegut, Thomas Berger, and Robert Altman films come to mind. Also soul music and Chicago blues. 

"Walter had a very rough childhood – I’ll spare you the details. Luckily, he was smart as a whip, an excellent guitarist and a great songwriter. He was cynical about human nature, including his own, and hysterically funny. Like a lot of kids from fractured families, he had the knack of creative mimicry, reading people’s hidden psychology and transforming what he saw into bubbly, incisive art. He used to write letters (never meant to be sent) in my wife Libby’s singular voice that made the three of us collapse with laughter.
"His habits got the best of him by the end of the seventies, and we lost touch for a while. In the eighties, when I was putting together the NY Rock and Soul Review with Libby, we hooked up again, revived the Steely Dan concept and developed another terrific band.

"I intend to keep the music we created together alive as long as I can with the Steely Dan band."

Steely Dan wrote complex, subversive, serious and funny music in an era of absurdity and then would spend years in the studio annoying an army of session musicians while they tried to perfect them.

Their lyrics were obscure and always a delight. Part of the joy was that their tracks were so immaculate that the middle of the road radio stations were happy to play them while underneath the lyrics were 'X-Rated'.  

In 1976 I didn't have any money or record player. I had a cassette player instead and cassettes were really expensive. It meant you couldn't afford to make a mistake when you bought one.

I bought 'The Royal Scam' on the basis of a brief hit I heard. To my horror the rest of the cassette wasn't the same - it seemed like a disaster. I couldn't give up on my huge investment so I had to work at it.

I dug through the jazz and the crazy lyrics to find gold - fell in love with their subversion and started to enjoy their world of gangsters, drug addicts, prostitutes, corrupt police men....all the losers and failures of this world.

I let their madness run with mine.

This is 'Midnight Cruiser' from 'Can't buy a thrill';

Felonius, my old friend
Step on in and let me shake your hand
So glad that you're here again
For one more time let your madness run with mine
In streets still unseen, we'll find somehow
No time is better than now

Tell me where are you drivin' Midnight Cruiser?
Where is your bounty of fortune and fame?
I am another gentleman loser
Drive me to Harlem or somewhere the same

The world that we used to know
People tell me it don't turn no more
The places we used to go
Familiar faces that ain't smilin' like before
The time of our time has come and gone
I fear we been waitin' too long

Tell me where are you drivin' Midnight Cruiser?
Where is your bounty of fortune and fame?
I am another gentleman loser
Drive me to Harlem or somewhere the same.


Go on YouTube, search for Steely Dan and leave it on 'Auto
Play forever.

Farewell Walter.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Saturday 2 September 2017

Radio nights.


I'm not counting any chickens but I had a better night last night. I slept, off and on, for about three hours. Then I stayed in bed till 0600 am when the pain got too much and I can't remember the last time I was able to do that.

I changed my pillows and that seemed to help with my back. Mind you I've been changing the pillows around every night for as long as I can remember and it hasn't helped.

Maybe it's because I came off the chemotherapy - the side effects may be easing off.

Maybe it's the new drugs. Maybe Dr Feelgood has added something to make me feel better. You know, rather like when you take a dog to the vet - whatever treatment it gets there is always an injection and afterwards it jumps around like a puppy again for a while. I certainly wasn't doing that but it was the best night I've had in months.

At four o'clock I found myself listening to the really crap Tesco's transistor radio Robyn brought me when I was in Hospital in 2015. It's real rubbish - made in Poland, terrible reception but it saved my life back then as I lay there in the long hours of the night trying to avoid thinking about being unable to walk again and fearing that the cancer had gone wild on me.

This time I found myself listening to an early morning debate about racism, an even more fiery phone in about the opposing chances of Peru and Paraguay qualifying for the next World Cup in Russia.

And music through the early hours.

As I said, it saved my life once and it's a big help still.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com

Friday 1 September 2017

Satnav sucks.

These days, you just can't rely on anyone.

I had a rare laugh today when I read that Mohiussunnath Chowdhury, who was arrested outside Buckingham Palace waving a four foot sword and shouting Allahu Akbar, had in fact intended to attack Windsor Castle.

First of all, the Royal family aren't resident at the castle at the moment.

Secondly Chowdhury, who earnt his living as an Uber Taxi driver in Luton, had set his satnav for the castle but strangely ended up at 'The Windsor Castle' Pub instead, which is many miles away.

Could happen to anybody, especially his hapless Uber clients.

Chowdhury isn't the first truly incompetent murderer but we should celebrate these hopeless and bumbling killers - they save lives.

I was reminded of the case of Andrew Newton, the 'professional Hitman', hired on behalf of The Right Honourable Jeremy Thorpe, Member of Parliament, Privy Counsellor and leader of The Liberal Party in the 1970's, to kill his former male lover Norman Scott.

Newton started off on the wrong foot when he went to Dunstable in Somerset rather than Barnstaple in North Devon to find his victim.

After that little confusion was cleared up he returned to meet Scott and picked him up in his car - not realising that he'd be bringing a giant Great Dane with him as well. In trying to shoot Scott, Newton shot Rinka the dog by mistake, Then his gun jammed and in the confusion Scott escaped across the lonely moor above Porlock, pursued by the 'hitman' who was trying to unjam his gun while he chased him.

Newton was jailed for two years while Scott survived to go to the press and give evidence against Thorpe and his fellow conspirators.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com