Friday, 1 September 2017

Satnav sucks.

These days, you just can't rely on anyone.

I had a rare laugh today when I read that Mohiussunnath Chowdhury, who was arrested outside Buckingham Palace waving a four foot sword and shouting Allahu Akbar, had in fact intended to attack Windsor Castle.

First of all, the Royal family aren't resident at the castle at the moment.

Secondly Chowdhury, who earnt his living as an Uber Taxi driver in Luton, had set his satnav for the castle but strangely ended up at 'The Windsor Castle' Pub instead, which is many miles away.

Could happen to anybody, especially his hapless Uber clients.

Chowdhury isn't the first truly incompetent murderer but we should celebrate these hopeless and bumbling killers - they save lives.

I was reminded of the case of Andrew Newton, the 'professional Hitman', hired on behalf of The Right Honourable Jeremy Thorpe, Member of Parliament, Privy Counsellor and leader of The Liberal Party in the 1970's, to kill his former male lover Norman Scott.

Newton started off on the wrong foot when he went to Dunstable in Somerset rather than Barnstaple in North Devon to find his victim.

After that little confusion was cleared up he returned to meet Scott and picked him up in his car - not realising that he'd be bringing a giant Great Dane with him as well. In trying to shoot Scott, Newton shot Rinka the dog by mistake, Then his gun jammed and in the confusion Scott escaped across the lonely moor above Porlock, pursued by the 'hitman' who was trying to unjam his gun while he chased him.

Newton was jailed for two years while Scott survived to go to the press and give evidence against Thorpe and his fellow conspirators.

Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
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1 comment:

  1. That's funny Neil. Nothing funny about killings but the mishaps are funny.