Another trying day although not in the physical sense - I didn't do anything.
But I didn't sleep and had to catch up in the morning. Then I had a meeting with my nurse from the Hospice to check how I'm doing, especially with the morphine.
Well, I'm not. I use one dose of morphine at night and that's half the recommended dose they thought I should start with.
I need more time to come to terms with this and they seem prepared to let me have it. We'll be staying in touch and I will reconsider - not least because I'm not sleeping and in some considerable pain.
Otherwise things are going well....ish. I still have a monster appetite which obviously comes from the drugs I'm taking but is a considerable step forward.
I have much reduced mobility and a lot of pain, but I have possible ways to deal with that if I can come to terms with them.
The problem for me is that to get here I've had a huge struggle, battle after battle. Most of the battles I lost straight off, but without the will to fight I would have given up long before now. I'm still very reluctant just to 'give up'. I know that isn't going to work out very well for me and I will have to change my strategy. I'm just not ready right now.
Meanwhile, seeing a nice, caring person who means well and wants to help is very wearing and emotional. I was worn out.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwith promisestokeep@gmail.com
Tuesday, 31 October 2017
Monday, 30 October 2017
Fighting on.
That was a tough and ultimately emotional day.
We went back to Charing Cross Hospital and I drove. The timing was difficult and as there wasn't really any way I could jiggle my painkillers I ended up taking less of them but more often in the morning. There was no real logic to it and it's fair to say it didn't really work out too well.
I had a busy morning before we left - I was supposed to ring a nurse at the Hospice on Friday, to keep her up to date with how I was doing. I didn't ring her - now she rang us and is coming round tomorrow morning!
.....to get to know me.
Oh dear!
Then I rang the man who fixes our derelict boiler which isn't just not working but making some really unpleasant and dangerous noises. I've kept missing him because I've had so many doctor's appointments in the last week.
I'm getting frazzled, I've been out four times in the last six days. I'm exhausted.
We set off - the traffic is light but my back and legs hurt every time I change gear. I was fine until I got to the Hammersmith roundabout where I got bullied by the other drivers because I was slow - I got barged out of the way and cut up as I struggled round. I got there in the end but by the time I'd parked up a long way from the hospital, any good from the painkillers had left me. We were early, which was just as well. It took me ages to get to the clinic in slow motion.
I did my bloods and waited. I slept but didn't recover.
I started these meds 9 weeks ago, we do the blood tests a month behind. So, I was due to get a result from a month ago, after I'd got through a really bad four weeks to get there. Unfortunately, the lab hadn't done the right tests. So we had no idea what was going on.
My pains were worse but my appetite was back - so on balance Dr Feelgood and me decided we'd just carry on regardless. There aren't so many alternatives left for me anyway.
I ordered my meds and we sat down to wait but the chairs were really uncomfortable and I started to lose it big time.
Robyn got me the meds and I took my painkillers and struggled out of my chair. I was in agony as I made it back to the car.
We drove back along the motorway, with me groaning along the way.
I collapsed into my chair and slept for the rest of the afternoon.
Then it got better; first Robyn got a message from Dr Feelgood - she'd got a specially quick blood test and things have improved. No need to get carried away but it's good news and we did make the right decision in carrying on with the treatment.
Then, late in the evening the gas boiler man turned up and after a lot of banging and fixing, he got the boiler started and heat flowed through the cold house again.
I must have looked pretty ill (I felt pretty ill) because he didn't charge me anything. I got very upset. I can cope with people being nasty, like on the Hammersmith Roundabout but I just can't deal with people being kind any more.
And so I fight on.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
We went back to Charing Cross Hospital and I drove. The timing was difficult and as there wasn't really any way I could jiggle my painkillers I ended up taking less of them but more often in the morning. There was no real logic to it and it's fair to say it didn't really work out too well.
I had a busy morning before we left - I was supposed to ring a nurse at the Hospice on Friday, to keep her up to date with how I was doing. I didn't ring her - now she rang us and is coming round tomorrow morning!
.....to get to know me.
Oh dear!
Then I rang the man who fixes our derelict boiler which isn't just not working but making some really unpleasant and dangerous noises. I've kept missing him because I've had so many doctor's appointments in the last week.
I'm getting frazzled, I've been out four times in the last six days. I'm exhausted.
We set off - the traffic is light but my back and legs hurt every time I change gear. I was fine until I got to the Hammersmith roundabout where I got bullied by the other drivers because I was slow - I got barged out of the way and cut up as I struggled round. I got there in the end but by the time I'd parked up a long way from the hospital, any good from the painkillers had left me. We were early, which was just as well. It took me ages to get to the clinic in slow motion.
I did my bloods and waited. I slept but didn't recover.
I started these meds 9 weeks ago, we do the blood tests a month behind. So, I was due to get a result from a month ago, after I'd got through a really bad four weeks to get there. Unfortunately, the lab hadn't done the right tests. So we had no idea what was going on.
My pains were worse but my appetite was back - so on balance Dr Feelgood and me decided we'd just carry on regardless. There aren't so many alternatives left for me anyway.
I ordered my meds and we sat down to wait but the chairs were really uncomfortable and I started to lose it big time.
Robyn got me the meds and I took my painkillers and struggled out of my chair. I was in agony as I made it back to the car.
We drove back along the motorway, with me groaning along the way.
I collapsed into my chair and slept for the rest of the afternoon.
Then it got better; first Robyn got a message from Dr Feelgood - she'd got a specially quick blood test and things have improved. No need to get carried away but it's good news and we did make the right decision in carrying on with the treatment.
Then, late in the evening the gas boiler man turned up and after a lot of banging and fixing, he got the boiler started and heat flowed through the cold house again.
I must have looked pretty ill (I felt pretty ill) because he didn't charge me anything. I got very upset. I can cope with people being nasty, like on the Hammersmith Roundabout but I just can't deal with people being kind any more.
And so I fight on.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Sunday, 29 October 2017
Clocks changing.
Another day completely out of it - with a nasty twist. I used to look forward to the clocks going back in winter, under the illusion I was 'gaining' an hour. Well of course you don't - it's taken away from you again the next night.
Now there's a much worse consequence for me. I take pain killers about every six hours although they stop working after about 2 hours. By four hours I'm in a lot of pain. If the clock goes back an hour, I get an hour added on for good measure. That hour has to be made up for somewhere.
So this morning I got up at 0415am (which is no different to normal really) but I don't normally take my 0600am painkillers until about 0700 because it fits in better. Unfortunately, this morning) 0700 would have been 0800 and that means another hour in pain. But if I take them earlier I have to make up the time later.
I'm a puritan at heart - I waited an extra hour and that hurt.
So I would rather the clocks hadn't gone back, thank you very much.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Now there's a much worse consequence for me. I take pain killers about every six hours although they stop working after about 2 hours. By four hours I'm in a lot of pain. If the clock goes back an hour, I get an hour added on for good measure. That hour has to be made up for somewhere.
So this morning I got up at 0415am (which is no different to normal really) but I don't normally take my 0600am painkillers until about 0700 because it fits in better. Unfortunately, this morning) 0700 would have been 0800 and that means another hour in pain. But if I take them earlier I have to make up the time later.
I'm a puritan at heart - I waited an extra hour and that hurt.
So I would rather the clocks hadn't gone back, thank you very much.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Saturday, 28 October 2017
Sleepy Neil.
After the last three days I had another bad night, got up at 0500 am but couldn't get any sleep at all.
The end result was that I spent most of the day fast asleep, waking only in occasional confusion.
So, Robyn went out to have a chat with a neighbour, popped back in to tell me she'd just come back to pick up a bottle of water. Except I took that to mean she was going out to buy a bottle of water and when she didn't come back I got it into my mind that she'd gone up to London to get the water.
Really strange, and no, I wasn't on anything strong at the time.
I have one ore day to try and recover before I'm back up at Hospital again.
Wish me luck.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
The end result was that I spent most of the day fast asleep, waking only in occasional confusion.
So, Robyn went out to have a chat with a neighbour, popped back in to tell me she'd just come back to pick up a bottle of water. Except I took that to mean she was going out to buy a bottle of water and when she didn't come back I got it into my mind that she'd gone up to London to get the water.
Really strange, and no, I wasn't on anything strong at the time.
I have one ore day to try and recover before I'm back up at Hospital again.
Wish me luck.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Friday, 27 October 2017
New selfie, on the way to the Doctor's.
That was me on the way to the doctor's - my last of three days out in a row.
It's been very tough, although as Robyn drove me there I was able to bask in a last burst of autumn sun, burning my closed eyelids.
I got my meds sorted out - they are really helpful, quick appointments, no long waits. But as we came home I was walking slower than the sloth in the photo.
Yesterday, driving to London and back I hurt my back - all night I was suffering from excruciating muscle spasms, which continued through the morning. It's hard to imagine the exquisite layers of pain the human body is capable of making, when it wants to be really creative.
I now have two days of lazing about trying to recover enough to get myself back to Charing Cross Hospital on Monday.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Thursday, 26 October 2017
I made it.
I got through my second tough day but it wasn't easy. I woke up at 0200 am and couldn't sleep. In the end I got up at 0500am to sleep in my chair - It turned out I didn't get much!
I was able to stop taking morphine long enough to ensure that there was none left in my system, because I was going to be driving.
I also had time to slowly get dressed and get my boots on, all of which really hurts and is very tiring.
My normal painkillers are due at 0600am, although I normally put off taking them for a while. Today I put off the painkillers altogether.
Robyn brought me breakfast and I had a rest, then I took the painkillers four hours late and we left at 1000am.
I had to drive to Hammersmith, I haven't driven for a week or two. But the pain was reduced and the traffic was light. We floated into town.
Unfortunately, I couldn't park close to the hospital, it was about a three hundred yard walk. Oh dear me, had I slowed down! At the Pelican Crossing I can no longer get across in the time the traffic lights are red - I just have to set out like a snail and hope for the best.
We were early and I was able to get to the pharmacy to collect a prescription that they didn't have for me last month.
It worked out fine.
Then I had a go at the lifts, which are slow and overcrowded and made it to the 6th floor. Unfortunately, I'd been hoping for a wait so I could get some sleep and recover - they were ready for us as soon as we got there.
I had my infusion and then I had to go back to the waiting room for a sleep and a coffee before we set off again.
Now I was really hurting, the painkillers had long worn off but it was too early to take any more. My walking had slowed down to a sloth filmed in extreme slow motion. Got to the car and eased myself back in.
I got us back home but hurt a rib in the process - I think it's just a bruise even if it feels much worse.
We got home and I could barely get myself over the front doorstep.
I slept all afternoon and felt just as bad in the evening as I had when I got back.
But I made it. Tomorrow I've got to get to the doctors, then Monday it's back up to Hammersmith.
I made it.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I was able to stop taking morphine long enough to ensure that there was none left in my system, because I was going to be driving.
I also had time to slowly get dressed and get my boots on, all of which really hurts and is very tiring.
My normal painkillers are due at 0600am, although I normally put off taking them for a while. Today I put off the painkillers altogether.
Robyn brought me breakfast and I had a rest, then I took the painkillers four hours late and we left at 1000am.
I had to drive to Hammersmith, I haven't driven for a week or two. But the pain was reduced and the traffic was light. We floated into town.
Unfortunately, I couldn't park close to the hospital, it was about a three hundred yard walk. Oh dear me, had I slowed down! At the Pelican Crossing I can no longer get across in the time the traffic lights are red - I just have to set out like a snail and hope for the best.
We were early and I was able to get to the pharmacy to collect a prescription that they didn't have for me last month.
It worked out fine.
Then I had a go at the lifts, which are slow and overcrowded and made it to the 6th floor. Unfortunately, I'd been hoping for a wait so I could get some sleep and recover - they were ready for us as soon as we got there.
I had my infusion and then I had to go back to the waiting room for a sleep and a coffee before we set off again.
Now I was really hurting, the painkillers had long worn off but it was too early to take any more. My walking had slowed down to a sloth filmed in extreme slow motion. Got to the car and eased myself back in.
I got us back home but hurt a rib in the process - I think it's just a bruise even if it feels much worse.
We got home and I could barely get myself over the front doorstep.
I slept all afternoon and felt just as bad in the evening as I had when I got back.
But I made it. Tomorrow I've got to get to the doctors, then Monday it's back up to Hammersmith.
I made it.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Wednesday, 25 October 2017
In the sweet arms of Morpheus.
Ah, Morpheus, the Greek God of sleep, married to Nyx the God of night and whose children were dreams.
It hasn't worked out that way for me - knocked out with morphine then waking up with a start an hour and a half later in agony, which lasted for the rest of the night.
It definitely needs some tweaking and a bit of bargaining with the hospice. At the moment I'm not following their plan - I'll be in trouble.
We went to Tesco's - and it was a real struggle. I moved my painkillers around as much as I could to help but it was still very painful and I was no help to Robyn at all. I got home and just collapsed.
Now tomorrow I have to get us to Charing Cross Hospital for an infusion and to get some more drugs and I'm really not looking forward to it at all.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilaithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
It hasn't worked out that way for me - knocked out with morphine then waking up with a start an hour and a half later in agony, which lasted for the rest of the night.
It definitely needs some tweaking and a bit of bargaining with the hospice. At the moment I'm not following their plan - I'll be in trouble.
We went to Tesco's - and it was a real struggle. I moved my painkillers around as much as I could to help but it was still very painful and I was no help to Robyn at all. I got home and just collapsed.
Now tomorrow I have to get us to Charing Cross Hospital for an infusion and to get some more drugs and I'm really not looking forward to it at all.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilaithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
Hospice time.
Another really depressing day - I had a meeting with a very nice lady from the Hospice, who came to the house to see us.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful and she was very helpful..........but it was very depressing.
After a long chat we agreed that I would add doses of liquid morphine to the painkillers I'm already taking. I'm very reluctant, it's a step I've fought long and hard against and it just feels like a huge defeat. Balanced against that, I need to deal with the pain better and I know how upsetting it is for Robyn to watch me go through this.
To give you some idea of how hard I've been fighting against this; we were working out how to deal with the prescriptions when I told her that two and a half years ago when I first broke my back I was prescribed liquid morphine and didn't use it. We have two unopened bottles, inside the use by date all ready to go.
As I said I've reached the end of a long hard struggle and don't like giving in.
So I'm grumpy and more than a bit depressed by it all.
And they've got the measure of me too - they must be used to dealing with grumpy old men!
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful and she was very helpful..........but it was very depressing.
After a long chat we agreed that I would add doses of liquid morphine to the painkillers I'm already taking. I'm very reluctant, it's a step I've fought long and hard against and it just feels like a huge defeat. Balanced against that, I need to deal with the pain better and I know how upsetting it is for Robyn to watch me go through this.
To give you some idea of how hard I've been fighting against this; we were working out how to deal with the prescriptions when I told her that two and a half years ago when I first broke my back I was prescribed liquid morphine and didn't use it. We have two unopened bottles, inside the use by date all ready to go.
As I said I've reached the end of a long hard struggle and don't like giving in.
So I'm grumpy and more than a bit depressed by it all.
And they've got the measure of me too - they must be used to dealing with grumpy old men!
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Monday, 23 October 2017
A surprise for tea!
I really should have taken a photo but there wasn't time. Robyn went into town and came back with fish and chips!
I haven't been able to eat fried food for as long as I can remember - certainly not for the last three months but it's probably more like the last six. Not only haven't I had any desire for it, I couldn't have eaten it if I'd wanted to.
Well today a desperate Robyn went out and got some fish and chips and I had some too. The plan had been that I was going to have a children's portion but in the end she just came home with a normal one - and I polished it off.
I certainly didn't feel great after but I wasn't sick. It was nice!
I'm not getting carried away, I didn't sleep at all last night and today the pain has been fairly grim, But I'm still in the ring.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogs[ot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I haven't been able to eat fried food for as long as I can remember - certainly not for the last three months but it's probably more like the last six. Not only haven't I had any desire for it, I couldn't have eaten it if I'd wanted to.
Well today a desperate Robyn went out and got some fish and chips and I had some too. The plan had been that I was going to have a children's portion but in the end she just came home with a normal one - and I polished it off.
I certainly didn't feel great after but I wasn't sick. It was nice!
I'm not getting carried away, I didn't sleep at all last night and today the pain has been fairly grim, But I'm still in the ring.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogs[ot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Sunday, 22 October 2017
Ow!
I must be doing something wrong or, there's nothing to be done. Last night, stacked up with painkillers I got 35 minutes sleep and almost woke up before I'd got to sleep. I then spent the next four hours moving about and groaning as quietly as I could.
It hurt so much I couldn't even think.
In the end I got up at 0500 am and moved off very slowly to my armchair. Took more painkillers and got a couple of hours sleep. It's crazy.
I've got a really busy week ahead; a hospital visit, a doctors visit to sort out, a nurses visit to sort out, the shopping. I have no idea how I'm going to get it done.
On the other hand I didn't have too painful a day, Robyn made me a really cool soup and I have started to get my appetite back after about three months. So I'm not sure where I am.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
It hurt so much I couldn't even think.
In the end I got up at 0500 am and moved off very slowly to my armchair. Took more painkillers and got a couple of hours sleep. It's crazy.
I've got a really busy week ahead; a hospital visit, a doctors visit to sort out, a nurses visit to sort out, the shopping. I have no idea how I'm going to get it done.
On the other hand I didn't have too painful a day, Robyn made me a really cool soup and I have started to get my appetite back after about three months. So I'm not sure where I am.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Saturday, 21 October 2017
Happy Holidays!
Today there's a guest Blog from Robyn!;
I have to admit, I don’t know if I ever
made a Jack O’Lantern before I met Neil. But once we were together I had to
make sure he got to experience EVERY holiday. This year though is a little
different. Usually we make our Jack (or Jacks – last year we made two)
together. But Neil wore himself out yesterday and didn’t feel like helping.
I spent a few hours the other day picking out the template, I wanted a fiery Jack this year. I also wanted a big one so we purchased a “giant” pumpkin from Tesco last week. So I downloaded the picture of the Jack I wanted, then held a piece of paper up to the screen of my laptop and traced the eyes and mouth. I freehanded the stop of the pumpkin, I went for an open top Jack this year, and I have a surprise for Neil later (something I saw online).
Then I taped the trace to the pumpkin and punched holes around the outline so that the outline would be perforated on the pumpkin. Then using the knives from the kit (with occasional help from our regular knife) I cut out the face.
Hopefully he will frighten the spirits away this Samhain!
Friday, 20 October 2017
No Sundance ending.
Well, I finally made it - after a week or so of battling I've got in touch with the Hospice and had a chat with them. I've transferred Doctor, got myself legitimate.
Someone's coming to visit next week and in the mean time I've been given some advice about painkillers. I'm stopping one I've taken for about six months, so I'll be going cold turkey over that. Meanwhile, I'm taking a lot more of another, spread through the day.
I'm sure they know what they are doing and confident it will work, but I've been very depressed all day.
Ever since I was diagnosed, I knew how bad my cancer was, I had no illusions. If I had, I would have soon lost them. Treatment after treatment failed far too quickly, some didn't work at all.
I shook my cancer by the throat. Every time a Doctor or a nurse looked at my file and their head slumped, shoulders fell as they read it......I put my hands around the cancers throat and just squeezed.
I fought tooth and nail.
Now, it's all about acceptance. A passive acceptance of losing and that's not what I'm about.
Partly, I think, it's the difference between men and women. Robyn says it's no surprise that women are more accepting of things like this; they've been oppressed for 100,000's of thousands of years - how else do you deal with it.
Me, I'm looking for a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ending. Running at the guns, going out in a blaze of glory.
This, is all a lot harder to deal with.
So, I'm doing the right thing, but I'm still sad about it all.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Someone's coming to visit next week and in the mean time I've been given some advice about painkillers. I'm stopping one I've taken for about six months, so I'll be going cold turkey over that. Meanwhile, I'm taking a lot more of another, spread through the day.
I'm sure they know what they are doing and confident it will work, but I've been very depressed all day.
Ever since I was diagnosed, I knew how bad my cancer was, I had no illusions. If I had, I would have soon lost them. Treatment after treatment failed far too quickly, some didn't work at all.
I shook my cancer by the throat. Every time a Doctor or a nurse looked at my file and their head slumped, shoulders fell as they read it......I put my hands around the cancers throat and just squeezed.
I fought tooth and nail.
Now, it's all about acceptance. A passive acceptance of losing and that's not what I'm about.
Partly, I think, it's the difference between men and women. Robyn says it's no surprise that women are more accepting of things like this; they've been oppressed for 100,000's of thousands of years - how else do you deal with it.
Me, I'm looking for a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid ending. Running at the guns, going out in a blaze of glory.
This, is all a lot harder to deal with.
So, I'm doing the right thing, but I'm still sad about it all.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Thursday, 19 October 2017
Should have just gone home.
I knew today was going to be tough but I didn't realise how hard it was going to be.
I'd been putting off going to register with a new Doctor partly because I didn't want to and partly because I've been in a lot of pain all week. Each day I assumed it would be better if I waited a day.
It wasn't.
Today we went to the Doctor's surgery and then on to Tesco's which isn't far away.
We got there OK, the surgery was nice and modern, quiet and efficient. Unfortunately the helpful receptionist I spoke to on Monday was off work and was replaced by someone less helpful.
I had all the stuff I needed with me, I filled in the forms alright but unfortunately, it all took far too long. Standing by the counter, sitting down on a hard chair, getting up again and waiting at the counter all left me worn out. I've made a complete transfer, a new start and should now be able to access the Palliative care I need.
And at that point I should have just gone home. Sadly, we went on to Tesco's where we found that of all days for it to happen, all the disabled buggies were in use. It just took me too long to get ready in the morning and now it was too busy.
I couldn't walk round, I couldn't sit in the car. I was able to borrow a wheelchair but it didn't fit and I couldn't adjust it properly. My feet were up by my chin, my back was hurting and one wheel kept sending me off to the left.
I'm not used to powering a wheelchair with my arms and the pain in my ribs wasn't helping at all.
I was shattered by the end of the day and snapping at poor Robyn who was doing all the work and didn't deserve it.
I could barely get into the house when we got home.
You cannot imagine how painful things can be. How every step is agony.
Still, we pulled it off.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I'd been putting off going to register with a new Doctor partly because I didn't want to and partly because I've been in a lot of pain all week. Each day I assumed it would be better if I waited a day.
It wasn't.
Today we went to the Doctor's surgery and then on to Tesco's which isn't far away.
We got there OK, the surgery was nice and modern, quiet and efficient. Unfortunately the helpful receptionist I spoke to on Monday was off work and was replaced by someone less helpful.
I had all the stuff I needed with me, I filled in the forms alright but unfortunately, it all took far too long. Standing by the counter, sitting down on a hard chair, getting up again and waiting at the counter all left me worn out. I've made a complete transfer, a new start and should now be able to access the Palliative care I need.
And at that point I should have just gone home. Sadly, we went on to Tesco's where we found that of all days for it to happen, all the disabled buggies were in use. It just took me too long to get ready in the morning and now it was too busy.
I couldn't walk round, I couldn't sit in the car. I was able to borrow a wheelchair but it didn't fit and I couldn't adjust it properly. My feet were up by my chin, my back was hurting and one wheel kept sending me off to the left.
I'm not used to powering a wheelchair with my arms and the pain in my ribs wasn't helping at all.
I was shattered by the end of the day and snapping at poor Robyn who was doing all the work and didn't deserve it.
I could barely get into the house when we got home.
You cannot imagine how painful things can be. How every step is agony.
Still, we pulled it off.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Wednesday, 18 October 2017
200,000 thankyous.
199,850 views - by tomorrow the Blog should have reached 200, 000 which is something very special.
I probably ought to remind myself why I started the thing in the first place - I was sent home by Ashford and St. Peter's hospitals sent me home for a week with a broken dislocated ankle.
I ended up back at hospital being told I could easily have lost my leg and I needed emergency operations. I had two and was there for the best part of a week.
On my many, later journeys back to hospital I got to talking to people and it was obvious that there were lots of similar or even worse problems. But patients were too scared to complain or do anything about it.
So, I started the Blog to publicise what was going on and provide an internet focus onto the problems.
All these views and years later I'm not at all sure that this has done any good. Problems continue, targets are just being missed, disabled people now have to pay to park their their cars when they attend the hospitals. really, it's got worse since I started.
But I'm not sure - it could well be worse without the glare of publicity. At least that's what I hope and why I go on with this every day.
In the meantime thank you for reading the Blog, getting in touch and sending messages of support. It's all very welcome.
Thank you.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I probably ought to remind myself why I started the thing in the first place - I was sent home by Ashford and St. Peter's hospitals sent me home for a week with a broken dislocated ankle.
I ended up back at hospital being told I could easily have lost my leg and I needed emergency operations. I had two and was there for the best part of a week.
On my many, later journeys back to hospital I got to talking to people and it was obvious that there were lots of similar or even worse problems. But patients were too scared to complain or do anything about it.
So, I started the Blog to publicise what was going on and provide an internet focus onto the problems.
All these views and years later I'm not at all sure that this has done any good. Problems continue, targets are just being missed, disabled people now have to pay to park their their cars when they attend the hospitals. really, it's got worse since I started.
But I'm not sure - it could well be worse without the glare of publicity. At least that's what I hope and why I go on with this every day.
In the meantime thank you for reading the Blog, getting in touch and sending messages of support. It's all very welcome.
Thank you.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Tuesday, 17 October 2017
Tuesday blues.
I don't know what I've done to deserve it - today a new rib started hurting and got worse through the morning. By lunchtime I was starting to get muscle spasms which were really bizarre.
I'd go into spasm if I coughed or hiccupped or moved too fast or the wrong way. Or if I breathed in all the way.
Really unpleasant.
I was on my own in the afternoon and had a wash. I actually felt I should have waited till Robyn came back because I was so shaky.
I'm back up at hospital in a couple of weeks and it may be possible to get my new rib zapped just like last time but none of this is very good.
Somehow tomorrow I need to sort out registering with the new Doctor.
So it's not a lot of fun at the moment, I'm afraid.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gamil.com
I'd go into spasm if I coughed or hiccupped or moved too fast or the wrong way. Or if I breathed in all the way.
Really unpleasant.
I was on my own in the afternoon and had a wash. I actually felt I should have waited till Robyn came back because I was so shaky.
I'm back up at hospital in a couple of weeks and it may be possible to get my new rib zapped just like last time but none of this is very good.
Somehow tomorrow I need to sort out registering with the new Doctor.
So it's not a lot of fun at the moment, I'm afraid.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gamil.com
Monday, 16 October 2017
Small world.
Sunday was really rough going - with some new back pains to keep me company. Today, I didn't feel like going to the Doctors to register, I was too shaky and still in a lot of pain. But I did phone them and they should take me on....I'm in the right catchment area.
I'm hoping to go there on Wednesday now.
Meanwhile we were circled by the remnants of a tropical hurricane, which scooted it's way up Ireland missing us.
But all afternoon there was the strangest orange sky and red sun which was either caused by sand sucked up from the Sahara desert or of smoke and ash from wild fires in Portugal.
Either way it was a really strange atmosphere, as though there was about to be an almighty storm but in the end it cleared.
It's a really small world.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I'm hoping to go there on Wednesday now.
Meanwhile we were circled by the remnants of a tropical hurricane, which scooted it's way up Ireland missing us.
But all afternoon there was the strangest orange sky and red sun which was either caused by sand sucked up from the Sahara desert or of smoke and ash from wild fires in Portugal.
Either way it was a really strange atmosphere, as though there was about to be an almighty storm but in the end it cleared.
It's a really small world.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Sunday, 15 October 2017
Bad Sunday.
I had another really painful night, with the pain stretching on onto the day. In fact I've developed some new pains in new places which has been very demoralising. Also, I've ben getting Robyn down too, which I don't mean to do and which doesn't help.
It all seemed so much easier when I was on my own and didn't have to worry about the consequences of the illness on someone else. Once you care about someone else it's all much harder, much tougher.
Tomorrow I've got to try to get it together to go off to the one Doctor who may have me and to try and persuade them to let me register. My mobility is definitely suffering and what is really just a short journey to near Tesco's is starting to look like another mountain to climb.
Wish me luck!
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Saturday, 14 October 2017
One in Ten.
I've been listening to UB40's 1980 album "Signing Off" again and really enjoying it. The Dub versions are good too.
The music was recorded wherever the band could find somewhere; some in a kitchen with birdsong from the garden preserved in the background!
I think the songs stand up even after all these years;
"One in Ten"
I am the one in ten
A number on a list
I am the one in ten
Even though I don't exist
Nobody Knows me
But I'm always there
A statistic, a reminder
Of a world that doesn't care
My arms enfold the dole queue
Malnutrition dulls my hair
My eyes are black and lifeless
With an underprivileged stare
I'm the beggar on the corner
Will no-one spare a dime?
I'm the child that never learns to read
'Cause no-one spared the time
[Chorus]
I'm the murderer and the victim
The licence with the gun
I'm a sad and bruised old lady
In an ally in a slum
I'm a middle aged businessman
With chronic heart disease
I'm another teenaged suicide
In a street that has no trees
[Chorus]
I'm a starving third world mother
A refugee without a home
I'm a house wife hooked on Valium
I'm a Pensioner alone
I'm a cancer ridden spectre
Covering the earth
I'm another hungry baby
I'm an accident of birth
UB40
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
The music was recorded wherever the band could find somewhere; some in a kitchen with birdsong from the garden preserved in the background!
I think the songs stand up even after all these years;
"One in Ten"
I am the one in ten
A number on a list
I am the one in ten
Even though I don't exist
Nobody Knows me
But I'm always there
A statistic, a reminder
Of a world that doesn't care
My arms enfold the dole queue
Malnutrition dulls my hair
My eyes are black and lifeless
With an underprivileged stare
I'm the beggar on the corner
Will no-one spare a dime?
I'm the child that never learns to read
'Cause no-one spared the time
[Chorus]
I'm the murderer and the victim
The licence with the gun
I'm a sad and bruised old lady
In an ally in a slum
I'm a middle aged businessman
With chronic heart disease
I'm another teenaged suicide
In a street that has no trees
[Chorus]
I'm a starving third world mother
A refugee without a home
I'm a house wife hooked on Valium
I'm a Pensioner alone
I'm a cancer ridden spectre
Covering the earth
I'm another hungry baby
I'm an accident of birth
UB40
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Friday, 13 October 2017
Still hanging.
I had another bad night - very painful and that continued through the day.
Worse, I spent most of the time on the internet or hanging on the phone trying to get through to doctor's surgeries.
There's only one Doctor's in my area and I don't want to use them. In fairness, I don't think they would have me either.
Then there's a ring of surgeries about 3 or more miles away but, as I found, each one wouldn't accept me in their catchment area.
I'm tired of scouring websites only to find that there's a map which says they won't help. Or I ring up and hang around waiting for a decision - which doesn't go my way.
At the end of the day I found one surgery - the only one which may just cover this area. I got tired of the Friday phone queue by this time and I'll either try on Monday or, if I'm up to it, we'll just go in and try and sort it out then and there.
I actually started to give up in the middle of all this, which is really bad. I've been so full of fight these past years, I shouldn't let something like this get to me but it has.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilaithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Worse, I spent most of the time on the internet or hanging on the phone trying to get through to doctor's surgeries.
There's only one Doctor's in my area and I don't want to use them. In fairness, I don't think they would have me either.
Then there's a ring of surgeries about 3 or more miles away but, as I found, each one wouldn't accept me in their catchment area.
I'm tired of scouring websites only to find that there's a map which says they won't help. Or I ring up and hang around waiting for a decision - which doesn't go my way.
At the end of the day I found one surgery - the only one which may just cover this area. I got tired of the Friday phone queue by this time and I'll either try on Monday or, if I'm up to it, we'll just go in and try and sort it out then and there.
I actually started to give up in the middle of all this, which is really bad. I've been so full of fight these past years, I shouldn't let something like this get to me but it has.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilaithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Thursday, 12 October 2017
Hunting around.
Another irritating day. We went shopping, although really Robyn did it all; she got me out in the morning rather than in the afternoon like last week, did the driving and the shopping itself.
I was in agony - everything that could possibly hurt......hurt.
Sitting in the passenger seat, I'm not sure I could have done the driving as well and that's new.
We got home and I starting hunting around for a new Doctor so that I can access local Palliative care. I can't/won't use the nearest surgery due to problems I had over my Mum's treatment.
As a result I'm getting turned down because "You're outside our catchement area". Which means that no one may take me. Not sure how I deal with that one.
As it is, I have lots more phone calls to make.
I'm tired out.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
I was in agony - everything that could possibly hurt......hurt.
Sitting in the passenger seat, I'm not sure I could have done the driving as well and that's new.
We got home and I starting hunting around for a new Doctor so that I can access local Palliative care. I can't/won't use the nearest surgery due to problems I had over my Mum's treatment.
As a result I'm getting turned down because "You're outside our catchement area". Which means that no one may take me. Not sure how I deal with that one.
As it is, I have lots more phone calls to make.
I'm tired out.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Wednesday, 11 October 2017
Thanks Robyn.
I had a really rough day today and last thing at night Robyn sent me over some 70 photos from three years ago, to cheer me up.
There are pictures of us out for walks, watching bands play, just having fun together.
I was well in 2014 but I had just had a really tough year looking after my Mother and meeting Robyn was like a breath of fresh air.
As I think you can see in this one.
Two people very much in love.
Thanks Robyn.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
There are pictures of us out for walks, watching bands play, just having fun together.
I was well in 2014 but I had just had a really tough year looking after my Mother and meeting Robyn was like a breath of fresh air.
As I think you can see in this one.
Two people very much in love.
Thanks Robyn.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
Loss.
I'm mourning the death of a whole ecosystem - potentially a site of special scientific interest.
Robyn washed my car!
My car (known as 'The Pimple') is now nearly 12 years old and has never been washed. Usually, when it rains I wipe the dirt off with an old cloth and it looks as good as new.
Of course, I'm too ill to do that now - it's been over a year.
At the beginning of last year I did a Blog about the ecosystem growing on my car, possibly in the hope that someone (like UNESCO or WWF) might take an interest.
http://helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/my-site-of-special-scientific-interest.html?m=0
Since then, the organic material that covers my car has given it what some might describe as a rich patina, the kind of surface that would take centuries to build up in the rainforest or the Russian Steppes.
Sadly, no one ever did take an interest in preserving this unique ecosystem and now the rare mosses and lichens that once called my car home are lost forever.
I asked Robyn to do a guest Blog for me - I was just too distraught.
Robyn G. May
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Robyn washed my car!
My car (known as 'The Pimple') is now nearly 12 years old and has never been washed. Usually, when it rains I wipe the dirt off with an old cloth and it looks as good as new.
Of course, I'm too ill to do that now - it's been over a year.
At the beginning of last year I did a Blog about the ecosystem growing on my car, possibly in the hope that someone (like UNESCO or WWF) might take an interest.
http://helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/my-site-of-special-scientific-interest.html?m=0
Since then, the organic material that covers my car has given it what some might describe as a rich patina, the kind of surface that would take centuries to build up in the rainforest or the Russian Steppes.
Sadly, no one ever did take an interest in preserving this unique ecosystem and now the rare mosses and lichens that once called my car home are lost forever.
I asked Robyn to do a guest Blog for me - I was just too distraught.
I Washed The Car! The Ordeal.
Since I’ve known Neil he has never washed his car A.K.A.
The Pimple. Sometimes when we were out and it was raining he would wipe the car
off with rags – which I found very embarrassing. You may have seen in an old
blog post that Neil had moss and lichen growing on the car that he was very
proud of. He’s also very proud of the
various species of spiders that reside in and on the car. I saw them on our
first date, I told Neil “There’s a spider in your car” and he responded, “Its
fine! It will eat the flies.” I told him when I was taking driving lessons that
the first thing I was going to do once I passed the test was take the car to a
car wash.
Well, I passed my test almost a month ago and I hadn’t
done it. I’m still a bit scared of driving his car. My driving instructor’s car
was so easy and lovely to drive, I could drive it the way she was teaching me.
But The Pimple is temperamental, if I change down a gear it pretty much stops,
and it wants to be changed up way too early so the car makes a lot of noise
when I’m driving it, which I don’t like.
Anyway, I hated being out (I try to drive twice a week) with
the car so dirty so this morning I said “Why don’t I take the car for a wash?”
and surprisingly Neil was alright with it. I’ve been thinking about this for a
while. Shirley the neighbor had her car washed last month for her vacation, it
cost £30! I knew that would never do. I also knew that as dirty as it was if I
took it to one of those £5 hand car washes they would charge extra. So I opted
for the self-wash stall at the gas station of our Tesco.
So I drove to the Tesco gas station and pulled in to one
of the two stalls; the other was in use. I looked to see how much it was and
what type of payment it took and of course it only took change. Neil used to
keep a stash of change in the car for parking on our outings but he had taken
it into the house so I had to drive out of the gas station and go to the Tesco.
Fortunately I had something to pick up so I took £10 out of the ATM and
purchased the item with the cash so I’d have change. Unfortunately I was given
a £5 note change, so I drove back to the gas station and pulled into the car
wash stall, then I walked around to the gas station and asked the attendant for
change for the car wash.
I returned to the car wash stall and got out to take
pictures of The Pimple before the wash, then I got myself ready. I inserted a
coin and nothing happened; the coin just dropped out. I tried other coins since
we’ve recently updated our coins, but the machine would not accept old or new
coins. Luckily the man in the other stall pulled out so I drove around again
(third time is the charm); driving out of the gas station, around a mini
roundabout back to the entrance of the gas station praying the whole time that
no one would pull into the other stall before I returned.
Someone was there, but he just got out and threw a trash
bag into the trash can and drove off. Thank God! So I got out and put the
change into the machine and started washing. I didn’t do it in the order on the
screen because the car was so dirty. I rinsed, washed (hot water with a brush),
rinsed again so I could see what was left and then washed again.
During all this washing a man pulled into the other stall
(the one I’d been in that didn’t work). When he got out of his car I told him
that I couldn’t get the machine to work but he said “I’ll give it a try anyway”
(men!). A few moments later he got back into his car and pulled out of the
stall and a few minutes after that he pulled behind me. I still had 6 of the 22
minutes I’d purchased and I wasn’t going to cut my wash short.
In the end the waiting car left me flustered, and I also
thought I’ll be nice and leave him a minute. So after another rinse, wax and
final rinse I drove away (leaving him a minute of my time). Then I pulled into
the Tesco parking lot to take a few pictures because there isn’t really enough
room to do it in our driveway. I have to say I’m very pleased with myself and
The Pimple doesn’t look so bad when she’s had a wash.
I did promise Neil that I wouldn’t kill the moss and
lichen growing on the car. It wasn’t till I was washing it that I realized just
how much there was on the car. I know I left it on the rear passenger side
window and on a knob on the back, but other than those two places I think it’s
all gone.
The Pimple is a lot cleaner than she was at least on the
outside but she’s not spotless. Maybe if I make this a regular thing I can get
her looking great. Maybe next time I’ll take her to get an inside clean to get
rid of all the spiders. But I’m not doing that myself!
Robyn G. May
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Monday, 9 October 2017
Thatcher's funny friends.
Today more information came to light about Rochdale Councillor, Mayor, Member of Parliament and lifelong serial paedophile Cyril Smith. For much of his adult life he had taken advantage of his dominant position in Rochdale to take advantage of vulnerable children and teenagers being looked after by local social services.
It turns out that Public Prosecutors lied to local journalists, denied that Smith had ever been investigated for offences, something which came to the attention of the Security Services, who did nothing to correct the impression that Smith was an innocent man.
That was not the case in 1988 when Margaret Thatcher as Prime Minister was pushing for Smith to be made a Knight of the Realm. Letters were sent pointing out the various aborted investigations, the allegations and rumours and setting out why Smith should not be considered as a suitable person to be given high political honour. Thatcher ignored these warnings and Smith became a Knight.
I was struck by how similar this was to her relationship with 'Sir' Jimmy Saville, the serial paedophile and abuser, who spent some 11 Christmasses with his friends, the Thatcher's.
Mrs Thatcher recommended Saville four times for his Knighthood, on each occasion she was warned off by civil servants who pointed out the many rumours about his sexual abuse.
For Saville it was to be fifth time lucky.
We can look at Thatcher's friendships and protection of prominent politicians and public figures who faced similar allegations and just wonder; "Exactly what was going on there?"
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
It turns out that Public Prosecutors lied to local journalists, denied that Smith had ever been investigated for offences, something which came to the attention of the Security Services, who did nothing to correct the impression that Smith was an innocent man.
That was not the case in 1988 when Margaret Thatcher as Prime Minister was pushing for Smith to be made a Knight of the Realm. Letters were sent pointing out the various aborted investigations, the allegations and rumours and setting out why Smith should not be considered as a suitable person to be given high political honour. Thatcher ignored these warnings and Smith became a Knight.
I was struck by how similar this was to her relationship with 'Sir' Jimmy Saville, the serial paedophile and abuser, who spent some 11 Christmasses with his friends, the Thatcher's.
Mrs Thatcher recommended Saville four times for his Knighthood, on each occasion she was warned off by civil servants who pointed out the many rumours about his sexual abuse.
For Saville it was to be fifth time lucky.
We can look at Thatcher's friendships and protection of prominent politicians and public figures who faced similar allegations and just wonder; "Exactly what was going on there?"
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Sunday, 8 October 2017
Hooded Claw duties.
The only thing I ever really promised Robyn (well, apart from never betraying her) was that I would protect her from 'The Hooded Claw'. By and large I've managed to do it up to now.
Last night I was lying in bed, at 0315am, wide awake and in a lot of pain, listening to some rather sinister noises along the outside wall of our bedroom. Then......some loud bangs and a few crashes.
I should explain that we have been burgled - everyone round here has. There have been plenty of attempts to get into the house too..
So at 0330, with a heavy heart, I got up to go round the house putting on all the lights and checking that no one had got in.
It has to be said that the only thing more painful than lying in bed is getting up. I have to shuffle my poor old legs to the edge of the bed, then lift them over the edge and onto a cardboard box that I have strategically placed on the floor next to me. Then I ease myself up, holding on to the mattress for dear life, then I quickly put on my back brace to hold my back in one piece. Then using a walking frame I struggle up, get my two walking sticks, put my dressing gown on and then shuffle off.
I move with all the speed of an over tired Sloth. I even look like a Sloth.
As I shuffled round the house, throwing on the lights as I went, accompanied by a lot of slow motion moaning, I began to feel that staying in bed might have been a better idea.
When I got back, feeling rather pleased with myself, I told Robyn that I had fulfilled my Hooded Claw Duties, she pointed out that there hadn't actually been a Hooded Claw, so it didn't count.
Which I felt was more than a little unfair.
That being said there was no sign of Sydney the Grumpy Cat, so it was always possible that she had been stolen.
Although, in fact she wasn't.
I collapsed back into bed, took a painkiller and snatched an hour's extra sleep.
Today, oh it hurt!
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Last night I was lying in bed, at 0315am, wide awake and in a lot of pain, listening to some rather sinister noises along the outside wall of our bedroom. Then......some loud bangs and a few crashes.
I should explain that we have been burgled - everyone round here has. There have been plenty of attempts to get into the house too..
So at 0330, with a heavy heart, I got up to go round the house putting on all the lights and checking that no one had got in.
It has to be said that the only thing more painful than lying in bed is getting up. I have to shuffle my poor old legs to the edge of the bed, then lift them over the edge and onto a cardboard box that I have strategically placed on the floor next to me. Then I ease myself up, holding on to the mattress for dear life, then I quickly put on my back brace to hold my back in one piece. Then using a walking frame I struggle up, get my two walking sticks, put my dressing gown on and then shuffle off.
I move with all the speed of an over tired Sloth. I even look like a Sloth.
As I shuffled round the house, throwing on the lights as I went, accompanied by a lot of slow motion moaning, I began to feel that staying in bed might have been a better idea.
When I got back, feeling rather pleased with myself, I told Robyn that I had fulfilled my Hooded Claw Duties, she pointed out that there hadn't actually been a Hooded Claw, so it didn't count.
Which I felt was more than a little unfair.
That being said there was no sign of Sydney the Grumpy Cat, so it was always possible that she had been stolen.
Although, in fact she wasn't.
I collapsed back into bed, took a painkiller and snatched an hour's extra sleep.
Today, oh it hurt!
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
Saturday, 7 October 2017
Tangled up.
I've had another frustrating week. I need to sort out some 'Palliative care', but I've just had confirmation that I can only do this in the area I'm registered to my General Practitioner in.
For reasons I won't go into, I still use my old Doctor, out of area. So now I can't register.
Worse, where we are is on a 'borderland' - we get moved around whenever some authority wants to move people around. So the Surrey area involves a huge journey, a nightmare which is further and harder than going back to visit the community team for my old area.
Anyway, if I don't get it sorted soon I'll run out of drugs before I get back to Dr Feelgood who prescribed them.
And I'll have to lose my old Doctor's who I've been with for some 25 years and get on with. And (for the same reasons I won't go into) I can't use the nearest and most convenient Doctors to where we are.
I am grumpy.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
For reasons I won't go into, I still use my old Doctor, out of area. So now I can't register.
Worse, where we are is on a 'borderland' - we get moved around whenever some authority wants to move people around. So the Surrey area involves a huge journey, a nightmare which is further and harder than going back to visit the community team for my old area.
Anyway, if I don't get it sorted soon I'll run out of drugs before I get back to Dr Feelgood who prescribed them.
And I'll have to lose my old Doctor's who I've been with for some 25 years and get on with. And (for the same reasons I won't go into) I can't use the nearest and most convenient Doctors to where we are.
I am grumpy.
Neil Harris
(a don't stop till you drop production)
Home: helpmesortoutstpeters.blogspot.com
Contact me: neilwithpromisestokeep@gmail.com
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