I've been having a difficult week, so today Robyn gave me a full pedicure.
I've had problems with my feet and legs for a long time - they are very swollen from spending two months sleeping in an armchair because my back was so painful I couldn't lie down without getting muscle spasms. Of course there are other possible causes but we aren't going to worry about that for the moment.
Since I've been back in bed at night, there have been some slight improvements but there is a way to go yet.
Any way I got my feet soaked and washed, and a full foot and leg massage.
Then Robyn had a go at my toenails.
Back in January 2016 I started the first chemotherapy. It was supposed to last three months, then I'd have a break of about six months and then I'd have another three months chemo and then another good break. If it had worked, everything would have been fine for our wedding and I would have had a dream holiday in Italy.
It didn't work out like that, apart from sending me into anaphylactic shock every time I took it, it didn't work at all and they pulled it before I finished the first course.
So no holiday.
It did give me a lasting memory - it infected all my nails with a pernicious fungus, which I still have 18 months later. When it started it was in all my fingernails - they went all brown and dead and there unbelievable bubbles of gunk that moved around underneath the nails as you watched them.
My toenails were even worse - no really!
They all went brown and died but the big toes were full of pus and became loose and flappy; I had to hold them down with sticking plasters because I didn't want them to get pulled off.
I've been on medication for it ever since and while it cleared up my fingernails within about six months, the toenails are still a problem. When you're on chemo they just don't grow out.
And that's a problem because the NHS has told the doctors that you can't be on these meds for more than three months and I've been on it for 18 months now. So there's a big argument every time I need some more. And if you stop the meds, you go back to square one.
Well Robyn cut my toenails today and there's an improvement. The little toes have largely grown out - about four are still a little infected but the rest are mainly clear.
The big toes are bizarre, really distorted, one isn't growing at all but the other has started to grow out. Really, this is only the second time they've been cut in 18 months.
I must admit, I would like to sort this out now - I've had the side effect six times longer than the chemo worked.
Any way I've now been thoroughly pampered, which was nice in a bad week.
(a don't stop till you drop production)
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