Tuesday, 21 April 2015
Feeling low today - yesterday I walked further than I had before and moved around the house a bit more too.
Unfortunately I've been paying for it ever since; muscle spasms and a fair bit of pain despite all the meds.
Just as I started getting some hopes together I got knocked right back.
I have to remind myself that this time last week I was bed ridden and screaming with pain.
I thought I'd triumphed; I'd managed to get myself transferred from the worst hospital in the world (Wexham Park, Slough) to see my Oncologist at Charing Cross.
Then I got a kick in the stomach; my cancer had spread all over my back and I needed emergency Radiotherapy to kill the pain, then when I'd come to terms with that, I was going to have some very unpleasant decisions to make.
I'd been scanned and tattooed all ready for 5 days of Radiotherapy. Then I got put on the acute cancer ward for pain control, which is not the most fun place in the world to be.
Except that in the meantime, my wonderful Oncologist Dr Feelgood, who happens to be the only Doctor in the world who ever has doubts, got together a whole team of radiologists and they all spent some time staring at my scans.
After a lot of pencil sucking, they all agreed that Dr Feelgood had been right in the first place; the collapse of my back is the side effect of the medication I've been taking and not a sign of the cancer's spread.
I have no illusions; it is still just a matter of time.
But that's how I got here today; in one 12 hour period I went from the end of the road to a new beginning.
It's still tough.
In the meantime there are some other changes coming; part of the charm of doing this blog is that I never had broadband.
I was caring for my elderly Mum; she needed an alarm system and broadband was never going to fit alongside that.
So doing the blog was always like a guerrilla war; I had to use a dongle with hardly any data on it topped up with visits to Caffé Nero to pig out on their free Wi-Fi.
I can't travel any more so no more cappocino for me.
Meanwhile we are trying to get broadband here but unfortunately my dongle runs out today and the broadband won't be here for a while.
I've got a few schemes up my sleeve to go on blogging but there will be some disruption.
Don't panic (yet).
And when it's all up and running some of the fun will go out of it.
So I could do with cheering up at the moment.
(a don't stop till you drop production)
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